Life | Love | Time To Fly

2011-08-11T03:58:00.002-04:00

I RARELY USE THIS BLOG ANYMORE.

IT IS SAD REALLY, BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH TO READ.

*moment of silence*

OH, WELL.

CHECK OUT THIS

Little Preview

2011-01-10T10:59:00.002-05:00

more photos @ This Is My Time To Say

7 DAY CHALLENGE: DAY 7

2010-12-10T01:56:00.002-05:00

Day 7 - One story of a memory you have.

……

Today I went to Buffalo Cantina with Brisko, Ema, Fahmy, Arya and Fariz. Today was very cold. We sang BONAMANA like crazy people who understand korean language, but in fact we dont speak their language. Research paper is such a shietty ass music paper.

The End.

7 DAY CHALLENGE: DAY 6

2010-12-10T01:56:00.001-05:00

(another very late) Day 6 - Two things you want.

1. new digital camera, specifically: Canon S95

2. Get an A or B for my finals

7 DAY CHALLENGE: DAY 5

2010-12-10T01:55:00.000-05:00

(a very late) Day 5 - Three things you miss.

1. Canti

2. Summer 2010

3. Canti

7 DAY CHALLENGE: DAY 4

2010-12-06T23:42:00.001-05:00

Day 4 - Four things you wish you could say, but might never.

1. “Mom, Dad.. can I take a year off of college and go around the world instead?”

2. “I don’t care if you have your family here. You’re mine only”

3. “Thought I never lose such a good friend like you”

4. “Bitch, just close your mouth and be quite!” HAHAHA

7 DAY CHALLENGE: DAY 3

2010-12-05T00:01:00.000-05:00

Day 3 - Five songs you like.

1. “Roll Away Your Stone” - Mumford and Sons

2. “Whistle For The Choir” - The Fratellis

3. “Dog Days Are Over” - Florence and The Machine

4. “Take Care” - Beach House

5. “Flash A Hungry Smile” - Mystery Jets

7 DAY CHALLENGE: DAY 2

2010-12-04T23:51:00.000-05:00

(a late) Day 2 - Six things you love.

1. Sleeping, this is probably my #1 me-time

2. My collection of movies in my iMac & HDs

3. When its snowing in NYC

4. Holidays, which means i get my sleep and i get new memories with everyone

5. My eyes. ..i dont know why :\

6. Tea :9

7 DAY CHALLENGE: DAY 1

2010-12-02T03:14:00.001-05:00

Day 1 - Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. School’s works, such as: architecture projects, essays to write, exams, grades, etc

2. What should i eat after class and at home, lol

3. What should i do with my future, such as: master’s degree, professional work, family

4. Paying the bills when i’m almost broke

5. My dirty, dirty, dirrrtyy apartment and i should start cleaning it up

6. Funny moments or jokes with Brisko or Ema

7. The thought of i need to sleep more even though i sleep more than 8 hours a day

2010-11-08T01:06:00.001-05:00

and just like that,

i never learn anything from my own mistakes.

never again, i tell myself.

yet i know, i'll ignore this message

and just keep on making mistakes that i known.

just like that.

Check, check!

2010-10-29T00:18:00.002-04:00

You guys, should check this out!

http://flyingminds.tumblr.com/

..it's my other blog about my crazyness around interior/exterior design

(and other things, i guess)

Next Version From Before

2010-10-04T17:02:00.004-04:00

Yep, yep. Tomorrow is the final for the first project: Bird Blind. My model is done, and now i have to do multiple drawings, such as correcting my section cuts drawings, correcting my axonometric, create more interior perspective drawings, aaaannnddd..... oh, make another diagrams.

Woohhoo! I dont know why but i feel this is the second time that i like my model. The first one is the water temple that i built years ago. I posted it too. And this is my second time i post my creation! :)

the whole site + model

the entrance through the contours

Hellzzz yeeeaaayyyhhhh!!

Now, i'm waiting for Emaisewati (read: Ema) to finish her class at 17.30 and then i'm going to get late lunch/early dinner at Ramen Kuidouraku.

Nyom, Nyom, Nyamen! :9

Inspiration From RedWinged Blackbird

2010-10-01T22:13:00.005-04:00

It's been 3 weeks of school and thank God, everything's fine :)

My literature class's been okay, no problems yet. Got a B+ for my comprehension questions. My physics class.. it's okay (i guess :P). And yes, my studio class that I, sadly, failed last year because of some family matter and now I take it again, has been great! Thank God my professor is not as strict and rigid and uptight and.. you got the point. So, it's been great. For my first project of my studio class, we have to design a bird blind in Central Park Reservoir up in 90th Street. I proposed a concept about noise through my own experience. The design that i made is pretty simple, TOO SIMPLE i think; but as long the professor accepts my concept, i am fine. :P

That's my model right there. I probably have to thank Red Winged Blackbird because I kinda attracted to its color. That's why i chose black & red color for my model.

Hmm.. what else to talk about? :\ The final for this project is on this Tuesday, 5th October. I'm hoping to get at least B+/A- for this~

Bismillah Ya Allah!

I am back in the States!

2010-10-01T01:40:00.001-04:00

Ups! Yeah.. forgot about this :P

So, yeah, I'm back in one of the busiest cities in the world, New York City, after prolly eight months of Indonesia. As I said from the last post, i really glad that i had that vacation. However, i am really glad that i'm back in the States again. No hard feelings Indonesia, but i just have to come back. Well, i'm still in my homesick moment, especially my siblings! but who knew that I actually miss New York's own busiest noise ever. It just came to my mind when i was walking to the subway after class prolly like.. 3 weeks ago. I was searching my earphone in my bag and waiting for the lights to change to green, then.. there it was: New York's busy people surrounding Columbus Circle Street.

Then I just smiled while searching for Mumford & Sons on my iPhone. I don't know, it's really weird for me to realize this kinda thing. I didn't know that :) I felt really blessed these days that I am living and studying here -at the moment ;P

Gudnite! :D

doodling~

2010-09-29T15:46:00.001-04:00

hahahah! i'm in the mood for making a new header for my blog :p

alright, gotta go!

meeting with Ema

probably going to window shop or better, shopping!

Days of Summer

2010-09-01T12:47:00.008-04:00

Well, Hello! Hello!

It had been a great vacation/escape/relaxation/birthday/family month for me! Now i know why i decided to go back for a little while. My family is my key to everything. They have given me new perception, feelings, knowledge and of course they made me more realize how precious my family is. That is, what i gave to you, my absolute reason why i decided to go back home.

For my fellow dear friends, i'm sorry i didn't tell some of you that i'm actually in Jakarta for about two months. I have my own reasons :P I'm very very sorry though! haha!

Hm, let see.. what are my highlights of my vacation/escape/relaxation/birthday/family month:

1. 3 Days of GILI Paradiso Islands:

2. Hillbillies from CUBADAK Island:

3. The everyday Unstoppable Laughs from the Tachril bunch

4. Finding out more of my baby photos:

5. BIRTHDAYS! Mine and my grandma's

6. Sister's bonding tiiimmeee:

7. Having the Holy month of Ramadhan here with the Tachril Bunch!

8. HIMYM Marathon from Mas Arif's HDs

9. Go shopping with my Mom

10. and of course, go biking with Daddy on those crazy roads with those crazy motorbikes:

*i'm at the back, lol

So it had been a great last month of summer for me! A day to go to enjoy my summer, my vacation, my escape, my.. -yeah, i'm gonna stop. It is starting to get really corny and annoying.

HAPPY HAPPY NAMI DAAAYY!!

2010-08-22T23:39:00.003-04:00

Eu não sei que número é este ..

2010-08-18T01:36:00.004-04:00

1. it's 12.41 PM

2. can't wait until the clock hits 5 PM - not because of break fasting, fyi

3. wish i have Doraemon's pintu kemana aja, so i can just go to NY now

4. But then again, for #2.. someone's hand gonna touch my ponto proibido

5. Ég sakna þín ;P

6. I'm still embarrassed that i put my picture with Brisko in my profile picture on FB, gosh! what's wrong with me?!

7. Shuffled songs on my iTunes is the best way to discover new music that i haven't heard

8. Maybe, today is the day that.. no, it's impossible :\

9. now playing: Locksley's "Darling, It's True"

10. I think today's enough..

Escreva novamente em breve! :D

(fyi, i'm in a mood of Portuguese speaking, cos i miss my 'diego' :P - but #5 is not portuguese.)

2010-08-12T01:00:00.001-04:00

I said, "I just need to come back home for a while" to everyone.

Now I really don't know if that's the truth or not.

I'm just unstable:

2010-08-11T04:02:00.004-04:00

This Is My Time To Say

2010-08-11T02:43:00.000-04:00

2010-08-09T01:11:00.001-04:00

KATA

"Hitung nafas yang kelak berat

Kau ‘kan sakit dan pergi

Tanpa waktu yang pasti

Selamanya, selamanya

Melawan hati yang tak pernah padam

Akan hilang..

Ucapkan maaf

Dan kau pun ‘kan tetap disini

Selamanya, selamanya"

kita tulis yuk?

2010-07-28T13:45:00.003-04:00

situasi:

melarikan diri dari kenyataan tapi ternyata melarikan dirinya

ke sisi yang sangat salah!

solusi:

i'm gonna bare with it until going back to reality.

If you already guessed where i am, well then my situation was kinda the opposite of what i had hoped for. That's the negative perspective, on the other hand.. on the opposite point of view, the positive one, i saw my whole family and catch up with everyone's story. However, i'm the one that didn't really realize that everyone has their own life. It's pretty sad. That's why i'm gonna bare with it doing something else on my own life hahaha! EMO much? :P

HELLO! HELLO! Hello to youuuu out there *waaavveeee haarrrdddd* Nothing to tell much, but i had a pretty annoying but also interesting weekend here. Hoping for more hilarious and annoying-free for the rest of the month. And, Ramadhan month is about to come, so..

MINAL AIDIN WAL FAIDZIN, MINTA MAAF LAHIR DAN BATIN :)

And for you, don't forget to puasa! :D

Alrightey then, it is time for me to sleep. I have to wake up at 4ish am for saur because i'm paying all of my dues regarding last year Ramadhan (if you what i mean).,

Nite'o!

According to:

2010-07-25T03:43:00.001-04:00

HELL YEAH BEBEBEBE, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN IN MY LIFE.

2010-06-27T03:08:00.003-04:00

it felt like a dejavu, but this time
it was worst than it was before

i broke my own promises
just because i trusted you
i should have believed my instinct
not to be blinded by my heart

it became my worst nightmare
after i believed at myself it would be okay
because it's you

but in fact you're just the same

A Fine Long Weekend

2010-06-02T00:29:00.005-04:00

So, so, so?? how was your weekend; long weekend (for the US people)?? hahak it was surely a hell-lot-of-fun long weekend for me! But i just cant wait to go back to class so i can get it over with. My summer classes were oke i guess. Philosophy was really inspiring.. it's really an interesting class! We get to see how our mind works, like we have to question everything that we see. Like how could a pencil or a pen got bent went we put it in a glass, and stuff like that.. i dunno, i'm still a beginner on this subject, feel free to correct me people! :) And the other one is writing class. Yep, unfortunately, i failed the class and HAVE, wait, MUST TO TAKE IT AGAIN! I was deciding to take it this fall, but i rather finish that class now, so yeah. I think i learn more in this class rather than the previous class. Maybe because the teacher is more strict and scary, well.. he's the head of the english department so what am i hoping for, right? haha

Let's talk about my long weekend! I went to Brisko's house to just play around and do my work because on Sunday i went to Harriman. But before that! I have really an unfortunate event due to Aisha's fickle mind -______- well yeah, i'm kinda pissed at that but i'm okay now. Just promise me one thing Sha, never do that again. hahah! Awas lu, gue lempar ke Hudson River ntar! Further on~ i stay around at Brisko's house until 8.30ish pm i think and went to Playwright at 35th street between 5th and 6th avenue to watch an UFC fight (it's really not my thing, but i just dont wanna be alone that night ). We watched the fight until 1 am, went home and i directly went to bed. I felt so tired that night.. i think it's because of the anger from Aisha's fickle mind that made me wait for 30minutos with my heavy laptop in 71st Ave Queens. DAMN YOU AISHA! DAMN YOU! And on Sunday, Brisko and i went to Harriman to shop! WOOT WOOOOOTT~~~ we took the NJ Transit from Penn Station and went there for about 1.15 hour-ish. It wasnt long actually, the train was right on time and no delay; it was NOICE. We shopped for about 7 hours i think, plus lunch and snack time, haha. I bought these 2 heels that are really sick (lol) and a dress for Brisko's and Aisha's graduation and a belt. Guess what? Brisko bought like 5 items. I was like... "how come you shop more than me?!!" it was a fun day

And todaaayyy~ the last day of the long weekend (dang it!) I went to Brisko's and Aisha's graduation at the Madison Square Garden with Brisko's mom, Aisha's mom, Omar, Mischa, Ema, Sharon, Nanda, Ponti and Arya. I was soooo proud of both of them! The ceremony was a bit too long tho, and i haven't had breakfast and to top it off, i had stomachache.. ngeh! But it was all GOOD, we went to T.G.I Friday after the ceremony and talks about stuff. I'm jealous of Brisko though.. Arya gave him a graduation gift which was The Sims 3 Ambition.. DAMN YOUU!!! GIVE IT TO MEEEHHHH!!! fark~

So yep, that's my weekend. :)
How's yours?

Doesn't fit in well, does she?

2010-05-27T00:10:00.003-04:00

Sometimes being different shows your individuality, which is good.. but sometimes being the only one that different from a bunch of people who are the same, really makes me uncomfortable and intimidated. Different interest; different things to talk about. Even though some say I'm in the right level as them, but it seems like I'm waaaaaaayy below the standards. I'm not trying to be the same, but it is just hard to connect. It's like they are more 5th avenue and I'm more SoHo - i dunno.. seems like it. Don't get me wrong! I also love those brands that stretching out along 5th avenue, but it's not me. I'm more into those unknown and uncommercialized.

But who cares? Those are just LABELS! and for me, people are the same. It's just the individual's need that makes us different from each other. Right?

2010-05-12T02:21:00.002-04:00

Just found out that my worst nightmare would happen.

Please God, oh God

Don't make it happen

Between: Being Selfish, Bonnaroo & Loollapalooza

2010-05-04T22:23:00.002-04:00

Ok. What did i say to myself for the past.. 2 years?

"Guys who already got what they want after trying and trying hard to get it, will not do anything in exchange"

And yes, now it just hit me again. Again and again and again and always. Stoopid me. Here I am trying so hard to ignore and not to care. But maybe, i'm just being selfish yet another time. What's with me and being selfish, ey? First thought that came to me actually was.. this is my last days of my period; so maybe it's because of that. I dunno, i just don't want to crawl into that place and situation again.

Or maybe, this isn't the right time to be all mushy-mushy-cushy-cuddly 'cos exams are right in the corner peeking at us and all pressure are on us. Talking about exams, i have a practice writing exam tomorow, better not forget it! Don't forget to bring a dictionary and stuff.

BY THE WAY!! Jovan came to my apt today. We talked and laughed about stuff and suddenly he said "Nam, Bonnaroo??" (Bonnaroo is a summer concert & art festival in Tennessee) So he checked online who's on the lineup. I think it's a pretty good lineup! Bonnaroo festival lineup includes Jay-Z, Dave Matthews Band, Kings Of Leon, Stevie Wonder, Weezeer, Flaming Lips, Phoenix, LCD Soundsystem, The Gossip, The National, The XX, Kid Cudi, Langhorne Slim, OK Go, Angus & Julia Stone and much more! (More on the lineup: Bonnaroo!) Well, er.. if i'll go to that festival i'll probably watch a little of it. So, Jovan suggested Loollapalooza (Loollapalooza is a summer concert & art festival in Chicago). Now! HELLO HELLO! This is one, i got dips on it! The lineup is super super duper yum-yum-nyom!! The lineup includes Soundgarden, Green Day, Lady Gaga, Arcade Fire, The Strokes, Phoenix, MGMT, The Black Keys, The National, Cypress Hill, The New Pornographers, Erykah Badu, Grizzly Bear, Gogol Bordello, Mutemath, Metric, The XX, The Temper Trap, Stars, The Big Pink, Freelance Whales, The Morning Benders, Mumford & Sons and so much much much MORE!!! WOOT WOOT!!! SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! FARK FARK FAAAARRKKK!!!

Now, since we had that conversation, Jovan and I made this crazy decision to take a road trip to CHICAGO~!!! CHICAGO OH CHICAGO!! xD First, Jovan decided to take the plane to go there but it cost him $200++, then i told him why not rent a car and drive?? aaannnddd CAN I SAY ANOTHER WOOT WOOT?!?!?! So both of us are really psyched to do this!! We're actually gonna ask some of our friends so we can get 5 or 7 people to go too! ANYBODY WANT TO JOIN US??? The ticket for Loollapalooza is pretty much cost $200+ too, but it is all worth it! I PROMISE YOU!!

I'M SO PSYCHED FOR AUGUST!! WOOT WOOT!!

take a deep breathe for a second..

2010-05-04T01:36:00.004-04:00

yes. maybe some of you already know that 2/3 weeks ago i had a little itsy bitsy emotional breakdown, as you all read the previous-previous-previous post. Yesterday, because i was being selfish, that emotional breakdown almost came back. like.. really little part of it actually. due to the awkward situation and hot/humid weather and lack of talking, those breakdown really made my night a little bit stressing.

WHAT AM I SAYING HERE?

so, yeah, this morning i just realized that i have a building construction's quiz on sustainability problem aaaannnnnnddddddd... i haven't studied it yet. Stoopid me 'cos last nite i was busy working out the awkward situation. But then, HELLO HELLOOO PROBLEM NUMBER 2! Since my autoCad on my windows boot camp already expired, (SHIEYT FAK, DOUBLE FAK DANG IT!) so i decided to do my english paper first. THEN! after skipping my english class today, which actually i have a practice exam that i forgot, i went for my math class. Math class was pretty good. We have started integral and stuff, which i like! So, after math class, i ran myself to my school's library and borrowed an economic book, which i photocopied 2 chapter of it that.. is such a useless thing that i did today. That was so unnecessary, you know? What should i photocopied like 20ish pages that i actually dont need?? -___- I dunno what's wrong with me. Yeah, after that and returning the book, i ran myself again to the 10th floor computer room to do my building contruction's midterm correction, which is the one that i need to use autoCad. I done pretty much all of it except the axonometric drawing. Which IS SO IMPOSSIBLE TO DO IT WITH CAD! SHIEYT FAK, DOUBLE FAK DANG IT AGAIN! I tried to do it with SketchUp but it didn't work out. So i tried my best to do it on Cad, which was a terrible decision to make. This whole situation equals to i do not have the time to study for my building construction's quiz. Yeah.. you know what's coming up. I came to the class around 6.30ish or 6.45ish cos i have to finish the autoCad drawing first. So yeah, i came to class where EVERYONE ALREADY TOOK THEIR QUIZZES! WHICH WAS DANG IT! I cannot cheat or anything like that cos im gonna be the one (and some people) that'll be doing it while the class is seeing slides of buildings. I tried my best though. I think logically and came out ok (i guess). I didn't read the part where it said "choose all correct answer of the options given", so i just choose 1 from A, B, C, D or E. At the end of the class, the professor wanted to discuss the quiz and we have the opportunity to correct it (well, it because someone in the class said "how can we study it without knowing the questions & answer??") so yeah, we kinda corrected it and stuff.

Class is done. I went to Whole Foods to buy dinner which ended up eating there alone before going home. It's kinda depressing actually. Eating dinner at Whole Foods, alone, while everyone in the store with somebody buying groceries for tomorrow night or something. Dang it! After eating my dinner, i went home and directly grab my economy practice exam paper. I tried and tried to understand it and finding the answer through the book but HELL NOH! i cannot take it anymore!! I just wanted to burn the book and cut it into pieces or something! Shieyt.. how can anybody learn this stuff and be a professor? -____- i rather be a math or an art teacher than be an economy teacher!! Well, my friend said that maybe i'm more of a right brain or something. I dunno, what's right brain and left brain's characteristics?? :\

WHOA! i wrote a lot today! [o_O] blame the weather and economy? I'll surely blaming economy for this. DANG YOU ECONOMY!! I DO NOT WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND! GAAAHH!!

i think today should be the best time to greet summertime

2010-05-03T00:08:00.002-04:00

heeelllooo?!?!?!?!??!?! how come is it so hot? -__- i keep on sweating! my apartment really hot and the texture of my sofas are really bad for summertime's hot weather.

What would be good right now is:

1. swimming pool

2. the beach

3. ice cold lemonade or peach tea!

Hm.. and a couple of hours ago was also not a good time for me to be selfish. I dunno, sometimes i think being selfish is good but at sometimes being selfish is also not good. And sometimes, being selfish at a wrong time and at a wrong situation equals really really reallllyyy awkward situation and i'm sure you dont wanna be there. Ngek..

2010-05-01T19:30:00.003-04:00

well, oh well..

new york's weather is really nice today! a little bit cloudy but izolokay (read: it's all okay)!

i wanna write something personal, but.. there's something really bugging me out. how personal is too personal? so i can adjust how i'm gonna write it. :\

serem sih kalo udah nulis sesuatu yang personal ternyata dibaca-baca dan disebar-sebar.. lumayan GR juga sih ada yang baca, tapi mau cerita aja. hehe.

so~ maybe i should just keep it to myself. if i feel like talking about personal stuff maybe i should write it somewhere where nobody can read it or something. Yep.

waddefak is this supposed to mean anyway?

ignore this post people! :P

while i'm craving for brownies in the middle of 4AM

2010-05-01T04:00:00.003-04:00

Just saw a couple of pictures of my brother & his girlfriend's trip to Bali.. and now i'm craving for a trip outside NYC! (and of course brownies!) gggrrrr.. i just can't wait for this term to end! at least i have 4-6 days off before starting off my summer classes. SO! i have decided to go outside NYC!! please oh please! i don't care if it is just Boston or Rhode Island, or better yet CANADA! but i have to go to the Canadian consulate and get myself a visa >:] but i dunno when.. i haven't got the time.. well, not really.. hauhauhauha

mmmmmmmmmm i'm craving for everything!! Going back to Jakarta after summer classes, go to Canada and visit Vania in Vancouver, take a little road trip across USA, take a kick boxing class, have some me time doing.. i dunno like capturing a moment or some some, I WANT EVERYTHING!! AAAAHHH!

Hey, wouldn't it be fun if we can go to Canada for a couple of days?? Go to Montreal or.. Toronto, discover the place, discover both of us outside NYC?? mau mau mau :{ i'm craving for an adventure, dude! i'm craving for us to go outside NY and take a road trip or something. i want to have a trip with you.. yuk?? hehe *dramatis lebayatun*

brownies, where are you?

What Would Be Great This Summer:

2010-04-16T02:35:00.002-04:00

1. All Point West Festival 2010,

with the line-up of Iron & Wine, The Shins, The Morning Benders, Beach House and Yeah Yeah Yeahs (again!)

2. Road Trip!

which contains of driving from NYC to anywhere in the States, sleepless nights, bonfire, taking the Amtrak to go to Montreal and then take the plane to go to Vancouver!

3. Camping

I'd Go Bi- for:

2010-04-14T19:37:00.003-04:00

1. Olivia Thirlby

2. Alexa Chung

3. Eva Green

4. Evan Rachel Wood

last, but surely not the least..

5. Karen O

and of course; Kat Dennings, Marion Cottilard, Olivia Wilde, Gemma Ward, Amanda Seyfried, and Carey Mulligan. hok! x9

Playlist#2:

2010-04-13T23:26:00.003-04:00

1. Beach House - Used To Be

2. The Morning Benders - Excuses

3. The Shins - Australia

4. Iron & Wine - Communication Cups and Someone's Coat

5. Iron & Wine - Such Great Heights

6. Vampire Weekend - Giving Up The Gun

7. Freelance Whales - Starring

8. The Shins - Phantom Limb

9. Stars - My Favorite Book

10. The Shins - Turn On Me

11. Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark

12. Iron & Wine - Resurrection Fern

13. The Morning Benders - Waiting For A War

14. Bright Eyes - We Are Nowhere and It's Now

15. Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

16. The Shins - Sleeping Lessons

17. The Shins - Saint Simon

18. The Morning Benders - Pleasure Sighs

19. The Morning Benders - Wet Cement

20. Vampire Weekend - Run

*got addicted to The Shins and Iron & Wine! The Morning Bender just released their new album 2 months ago (i think). Cannot wait for 24th April, CHRIS CHU WAIT FOR ME!!*

~"Communication Cups And Someone's Coat"

2010-04-12T17:57:00.004-04:00

So yeah,

i don't know whats into me right this moment..

-wait, actually from saturday night

Went to a little celebration and decided to go back home after i stayed there for about 3 hours. I felt really, REALLY tired 'cos before i went to the party, i played paintball for 4/5 hours straight. It was fun at the beginning.. but something just hit me, literally hit me on my emotion. Am I having an emotional break?

Something felt really heavy inside of me.

Feels like i need to throw it all out.

Like puking out a couple of words.

I cried without reasons,

I don't feel like talking with anybody except my family,

I don't feel like going to class, (but i did my work though)

Can I disappear for a moment?

Can I stay in a room that no one knows where I am?

Can I stand in one spot without people noticing?

I just want to be alone for a moment..

get away from this noise.

2010-04-12T00:51:00.001-04:00

looks like it's just another bullshits after another, huh?

you piss me off.

fuck you

2010-04-11T02:32:00.001-04:00

"You are coming home,
are you still alone,
are you not the same as you used to be?
As the sun grows high and you serve your time,
does each day just feel like another lie?
Now you know,
is it just for show,
just a foolish game that you hide behind?

Don't forget the nights when it all felt right,
are you not the same as you used to be?
Used to be

In an endless night,
could you feel the fright of an age that was and could never be?
So we hold it close when we feel the most
like a love that we could not leave behind
Turn the wheel to each way we feel til I'm lost and I cannot find you there
Don't forget the nights when it all felt right,
are you not the same as you used to be?
Used to be"

2010-04-07T01:27:00.000-04:00

feel like an outsider.

i'm back,

but i'm off yet another again.

find me, please

2010-03-29T22:48:00.002-04:00

"I'm sorry

Two words I always think

After you've gone

When I realize I was acting all wrong

So selfish

Two words that could describe

Oh actions of mine

When patience is in short supply

We don't need to say goodbye

We don't need to fight and cry

Oh we, we could hold each other tight tonight

We're so helpless

We're slaves to our impulses

We're afraid of our emotions

And no one knows where the shore is

We're divided by the ocean

And the only thing I know is

That the answer isn't for us

No the answer isn't for us

I'm sorry

Two words I always think

Oh after you've gone

When I realize I was acting all wrong

We don't need to say goodbye

We don't need to fight and cry

We, we could hold each other tight tonight

Tonight

Tonight... "

Windy Spring Break

2010-03-24T14:30:00.006-04:00

So,

IT'S SPRING BREAK ALREADY!!

W00T W00T!!

but, dang it! it's always like this.. i'm the only one (with Yogi) who's already on break but everyone's still busy with midterms and works. DANG IT! how can i enjoy my break with my frieeeennddss?!?!?!? well, i've been enjoying my break with my new iMac & Sims 3 in it :9 but i need to get away! I want to stroll around the city but in a sunny day and NO WIND PLEASE! -___- these couple of days have been gloomy! rain everywhere! Shieyt.. I dunno, the city magically turned into a gloomy city when Naomi decided to go back to Indonesia for good :(

we miss you so much, NamNam :(

Hm, what to talk? what to talk? ~____~ i wanna go back playing Sims 3 again, but i think i played to much.....

WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?!

I'M PLAYING!

Back To Bahasa!

2010-03-16T21:18:00.003-04:00

Gilak, udah lama juga ya gue nulis blog ini. hihi. Gak kebayang udah setahun! Waktu cepet banget berlalu *weess~*. Barusan iseng, liat blog nya anak-anak yang lain, aka Chami's and Aisha's. ahhaha! Kocak yak.. seneng deh ngeliat memori-memori masa lalu, gak masa lalu sih.. gue lebay aja. MEMORI TAHUN LALU, deh. What about my blog? Urrgghh.. dunno where to start.

Yep, salah satu gue mulai blog ini karna gue abis putus trus gak ada kerjaan, jadinya keinget2 melulu. Eh! alhasil blog ini ngebantu supaya pelan2 let him go and accept the situation. NOICE! Seneng banget bisa ngeliat progress kayak gtu. ME LIKEY! tapi setelah disadari.. kebanyakan blog post gue tentang cintrong! hauhauha, ya gak cintrong smua sih. tapi kebanyakan begitu. NAMI ORANGNYA SUKA ASAL CURHAT!

Kadang-kadang gue suka ngerasa gue nipu diri sendiri ke orang-orang sekitar gue deh. Yang gue kasih liat ke orang-orang adalah.. Nami selalu ceria, Nami gak pernah stress, Nami gak punya masalah, Nami always takes everything calmly, Nami.. Nami.. Nami. Tapi menurut gue sndiri, kayaknye gue gak begitu. Gak emo nih, mentang-mentang rambut pendek trus kayak emo, hahaha! tapi engga. Emang sih, setiap orang pasti dua pribadi yang suka diumpetin dari orang-orang sekitar. Contohnya satu orang yang baiiikk banget sama semuanya, tapi sebenernya dia nutupin masalah dia supaya orang gak ada yang tau dia kenapa. Ato gak kayak, bersikap kuat, cool, jagoan, tapi ternyata ada juga sisi sensitif yang bisa ngebuat dia nangis kayak bayi ditinggal ibunya. Manusia itu UNIK! Gue setuju banget sama statement itu. Yah bisa dibilang kayak.. cover buku nya jelek, tapi isinya seru. Ato kebalikannya. Eyh~ gile banget deh gue. Ada apa? xD

Ngomong apaan lagi ya? Tadi perasaan ngetiknya cepeeett banget, kayak gak usah pake mikir. Sekarang juga sih, kayak lagi doodling-doodling on a piece of paper. Tapi ini di internet, lebih tepatnya blog gue sendiri. Oh iya! gue pun juga udah gak pernah nulis diary aka journal. I used to have a journal in every year. Why not now? :\ gue beli journal malah jadi tempat untuk nyatat-nyatat tugas kuliah. Journal gue yang dulu gue jadiin recipe book. hehe. Am I getting older tho? Maka dari itu gue jadi gak mau nulis journal lagi? Emang ada hubungannya sama tambah umur dan gak mau nulis diary?

Mungkin karna gue udah gak mau nulis-nulis kesalahan dan kebenaran yang pernah gue lakuin untuk diingat-ingat. Mungkin sekarang gue udah mau menerima semuanya dengan ikhlas. Gak ada lagi yang buka halaman lama untuk mengingat kejadian jelek. Mungkin gak sih? Kadang-kadang gue pengen punya psychiatrist untuk ngasih tau gue kenapa dan apa yang lagi gue pikirin deh. Eh, itu psychiatris ato apa sih? Biar tinggal pencet speed dial, dan curhat semuanya. Terus dia yang ngasih tau gue lagi kenapa dan ada apa dengan gue. Biar gampang semuanya, gak usah otak-atik pikiran biar tenang. Tapi, klo punya psychiatrist berarti rada.. em, rada-rada dong? Gak kan ya? Bu, boleh punya gak? HAHAHAHA!!

i'm.. short (haired)

2010-03-15T23:11:00.005-04:00

yep, last saturday i decided to cut my hair short. like short short. aaannnnndddddd even though it kinda look like an emo type of hairstyle, but it really is not. ahhaha, i asked the hairstylist to cut it just like Carey Mulligan's pixie hair.. but ended up with this hair. If my hair is wet, its kinda look like Meg Ryan's hair. Well.. i dunno, i like it.

I.Look.Handsome.

HANDSOME + CUTE = HOTNESS.

do you agree? :P

*it's fine to brag about yourself one at a time. hehe*

ik houd van mijn zusters!

2010-03-09T11:39:00.005-05:00

A sister is a forever friend.

~Author Unknown

Sister to sister we will always be,
A couple of nuts off the family tree.
~Author Unknown

The best thing about having a sister
was that I always had a friend.
~Cali Rae Turner

2010-03-07T21:57:00.000-05:00

sitting.
waiting.

am i wishing?

reddish-

2010-03-03T20:44:00.005-05:00

looking at those tears strolling down your face,
listening to your pain inside your heart,

your stuffed nose,
your puffy eyes,
your wet cheeks,

i could not forget how i was when i was in that situation.

getting involve with love can be both lovely and painful.
who knew the risks you have to deal after.
how can we deal with those risks without a manual to tell us?

red, because of crying
red, because of love

2010-03-03T01:17:00.002-05:00

people go to sleep when they're sleepy.
turns out exercising math problems made me awake.

well, a little bit.

*

2010-03-01T01:42:00.005-05:00

i found it sweet

that every time i search the image "hug" or "kiss",

i found

someone is hugging or kissing someone
just like the way

you did to me.

yes, i like to looklet

2010-02-24T02:41:00.005-05:00

* * *

2010-02-24T01:37:00.006-05:00

Me, and you?

2010-02-24T00:23:00.003-05:00

i haven't been in this kinda situation for a long time now.
it got me scared a bit.
scared that in the end, you and i will never be the same again

will i, though?

i wouldn't call it serious, yet i would call it..
fun, warm, close, relax, comfort
as a whole

could i pass through this with those?
or am i going to end up with the opposite?

all i know right now is..
i wanna play with hats and you by my side

Lop.Lop!

2010-02-17T15:32:00.000-05:00

SUPER-TIRED!

2010-02-16T03:22:00.002-05:00

current situation:
1. it's 03.23 AM
2. supposed to go to bed, but insomnia strikes me back
3. listening to 'guilty pleasure' music, such as Miley Cyrus JoBros Demi Lovato & Selena Gomez, made me smile a lil' bit
4. what's wrong with meehh!!!???
5. it feels like my brain & eyes are really super-duper-tired but my body still wants to move and be active
6. C'MON BRAIN! FIX IT! WORK IT ALL TOGETHER
7. can't wait to have White Chocolate Mocha in the afternoon before going to Econ :9
8. Any good song that can make me go to sleep? (at a time like this, i prefer my 'guilty pleasure' kind of music :P)
9. YEAY! I'LL BE SKYPE-ING WITH CANTI!
10. we'll see how this nite/morning turns out,

~tot ziens! :)

those days,

2010-02-10T03:47:00.004-05:00

1. The Year of 1994, so i could see myself being a 4 year old while canti just born

2. When i was in 6th grade, so i could take a lot of picture with Cassey Dira Dinda & Farah to remember

3. When i was in 9th grade, so i could laugh out loud with Rhea & Aura at TPS or maybe at our toilet cubicle and imagining we live in 'Rumah Kita'

4. 4-6th of July 2008, CARITAUTISME, so i could swim at the beach, lie on the beach, throw bayi back and forth to the boys' side of the room, and just be autis for 3 days & 3 nights

5. Grade 12 Graduation Night.

6. 5th of July, 2009 - early morning basketball/badminton exercise

7. 31st of July & 1st of August, 2009 - All Point West.

What's yours?

2010-02-08T21:15:00.002-05:00

What the hell is wrong with ECONOMICS?! seriously.. -_- maybe i don't have any social brain or something. GAH! I'm trying to understand it but what the hell, it just never got into my brain. DANG IT! DANG ECONOMICS!!

These are probably on my playlist,

2010-02-04T19:20:00.002-05:00

1. The Morning Benders - Patient Patient
2. Shout Out Louds - Show Me Something New
3. Shout Out Louds - Candle Burned Out
4. Good Shoes - Under Control
5. The Rakes - 1989
6. The Morning Benders - When We're Apart
7. The Morning Benders - Waiting For A War
8. Julian Casablancas - Glass
9. The Rakes - Strasbourg
10. Hexicon - Narissa I Won't
11. BMX Bandits (with YeonGene) - Ally Ally Oxen Free
12. Au Revoir Simone - Where You Go
13. Vampire Weekend - White Sky
14. Vampire Weekend - California English
15. Crystal Castle - Vanished
16. Good Shoes - Times Change
17. Good Shoes - Then She Walks Away
18. Shout Out Louds - Normandie
19. She & Him - Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?
20. Shout Out Louds - Fall Hard

*a lot of good shoes, shout out louds & the morning benders, eyh? :P*

Bitter(or)Sweet Me

2010-02-04T19:06:00.003-05:00

Hm.. these couple of days really wasnt the best days for me.
I woke up yesterday and found out that.. 'MR.HANKY' visited me in the morning and said "Yello Nami! It's my time to visit! Yoohhoooo~" and then he (or i better say, it) swam away to the underworld. shiet ass (sorry)

I know that's really gross to say, but i just need to put it out the world, hahaha! Syattap you if you think this is gross. You know, mr.hanky is mother nature's friend! so don't hate! :P

So, since i decided to stay at home and skipped my economic class today, i did my groceries shopping and watched 'Taking Woodstock' on demand after. And suddenly, Jovan was kind enough to come by to check on me (..GR ya? HAHA) well, actually he just wanted to stay n chill around my apartment while he waits for his other work shift at 7pm. I just wanted to say.. ASIK TENGKYU JOPANCES FOR GIVING ME NEW MUSIC!! woohhooo~~ i got excited everytime i listen to new music that is kinda my style (beuh~ gokil). Well, jopances already gave me a couple of new songs and introduced me to new/old bands, such as The Fall and The Morning Benders. He asked me if i want to watch The Specials this April with him and i think i'm going to watch the band.

So it turned out that it's not that bitter after all :)

"sshh.."

2010-02-01T17:36:00.002-05:00

Sitting here quietly, looking at people's rutine, observing how people talk and eat and laugh and clean their teeth after eating..

guess where I'm at? Whole Foods.
the place where I can eat and observe people like a part-time stalker. I think I am a part-time stalker :P. maybe people looking at me and think "what the hell is she looking at? and what is she doing tapping her iphone's pad.. looks like she writing something about me. she gives me the creep! I think I better runaway before she do something scary to me"

HOLD UP PEOPLE! there's no intention on me that I'm gonna do something creepy like... I dunno, imagining you without your clothes off. OKAY THATS CREEPY! i am no pervert or watsoever. hahaha!

I'm bored waiting for my 6pm class, aka Building Construction. it's still half an hour to go. what should I do? what should I do? done with eating tho.. :\ what are the stuffs that you like to do while waiting? play something on your phone I guess, doodling around your notebook, playing with your hair, listening to your iPod, looking at people with your empty gaze.. Hahahahha!! stoopid, that's what I do xD

Man, crystal castle is playing on my iPod and it makes me want to shrug my shoulder to both ways. but I don't want people to think that I'm a crazy girl who is high in the middle of Whole Foods. this is the place to eat! not for dancing or shruging your shoulder both ways or.. I dunno, make any sudden move that involves moving your hips and hands and head and feet and eyes... (do you even move your eyes when you're dancing?)

THIS POST IS SOO UNNECESSARY!!

bai :D

Geekin' Out; HighSchool Way

2010-01-27T22:57:00.010-05:00

2010-01-27T22:41:00.001-05:00

i miss mommy.
texting with her is the greatest feeling ever
:)

2010-01-26T23:39:00.001-05:00

OH IT'S ON, BIT*H!!
TOTALLY ON!!
>:9

Between Giving Out Help & Needing A Help

2010-01-26T00:58:00.004-05:00

GAH! greeeaat! in a time like this, i really reaally rreeeeaaally wanna stretch out my hand to those who needs help! Like for example the situation in Haiti. Ohk my God! I just wanna miss my classes that has just started and fly to Haiti (or maybe the nearest airport from Haiti) so that i can help! CRAZY SITUATION!

WE GOT A CRAZY SITUATION HERE!! LIKE CRAZY, TERRIBLE, HEARTBREAKING, PANIC AND SAD SITUATIONS HERE!!

1. i already told you that i want to stretch out my hand to those who needs help in Haiti.

2. i want to help those abused animal that has this heartbreaking commercial on TV.

3. i want to help my sister, Canti, in studying her exam past papers so that she will get good grades on her 10th grade graduation!! C'MON CANTI I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT! IF I CAN DO IT, YOU SURELY CAN DO IT!!!! (but not vice versa tho.. for example you can play a hard kicking ass guitar, but i cant -_-.. sucks to be me)

4. i want to stretch out my hand to this particular person whom maybe is like.. nowhere to be found (but, more of 'i hope so', i think this particular person is already somewhere cozy at the moment) Why i want to help him while the other is like "F**k that person, i dont care about that person! This is that person's fault! You don't have to be worry about that person! That person is in this situation because that person has always took advantage of us!" is because.. i just like helping a friend! But currently.. more of unfortunately, i cannot help that person because SOMEONE said that i shouldn't help him. YEAH YOU! SYATTAP! (hehe)

5. i want to help myself so i can go pass through this semester. But i'm sure i'll get pretty good grades this semester! I KNOW I CAN DO IT! WOOHHOOO!!

....yeah, maybe that is all. Well you readers (if i even have a reader! HA!) can also help me giving out this help... of course it's about Haiti and the abused animal, not about my 3rd, 4th & 5th wish. Here are the website to donate or maybe adopt!

on Haiti: HELPHAITINOW.ORG and on Abused Animal: The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals or ASPCA.ORG

Dude! if i can adopt 2 dogs, I TOTALLY WOULD!!! unfortunately, my parents wouldn't allow me to have dogs on my apartment.. DANG IT, DOUBLE DANG IT!!

(that's supposed to be my sad face. I need to bent my eyebrows 'cos i dunno why it cannot bent the way i want it)

So let's starts here! I already donate myself for Haiti through buying groceries and stuff from Food Emporium & Duene Reade. I donated like.. $5 each. So i'm kinda proud of myself!

Start helping other, PEOPLE!

Well, hello there spring semester!

2010-01-25T00:15:00.005-05:00

NOT.

aahhkk i'm being a spoiled brat here! i want my holiday back! even though i already had like, pretty much a month break, BUT I NEED MORE PLEASE AND THANK YOU! uhuk uhuk. And guess what? i think i did something bad on this last day of holiday.. which is, i opened up my old hardisk and looked on a bunch of old photos! Such as.. family holidays, old pictures from last year with Chami, Aisha, Naomi, Wina, Sefi, Najunda, Jovan, etc etc, ...WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFFS! and it made me a lil' bit homesick right now :(

but while i'm used to being a spoiled brat (is that sentence even make sense? i'm kinda sleepy right now, so yeah.. whatever), i know this feeling will be gone by tomorrow morning! Well, technically.. in about 10 or 11 hours it'll be gone. Hahaha! (it's not even funny and i'm not even laughing)

....(intermission intended)....
(awkward pause)

So yeah, i'm kinda excited about going back to school and learn new stuff, BECAUSE I GET TO STUDY CALCULUS AGAIN!! CAN'T I SAY W00T W00T!! This semester i'll be taking Applied Calculus, Building Construction, Basic Economics and Computer Foreign Studies aka Writing 2. What i know for sure is that.. i'm gonna be so lost in economics! Haiyaa.. seriously? even when i was in 7th-9th grade i really don't get economics :[ but i need to take this class! GAH, DOUBLE GAH!

Mmm~ it's been a great holiday after a lot of stress back in fall semester and now my body&soul already in calm state. So i think i can conquer this semester! Bismillah i'll get 2 Bs! No promises on getting an A, okay? :P If later i'll get an A -or even better, 2 As- i'll be happy as a clam and my GPA will beeee... WOWKEY! Bismillah! Bismillah ya Allah!

I think this would be it, the end of this post! Will keep posting later on about my days on surviving college, surviving this cruel yet unexpected life, and those days surviving pressure! -what the hell am i talking about here? good God, i think the english muffin+sunny sided egg+cheddar cheese that i ate before make me really reaaaallllyyy abstract-

And then, i found this..

2010-01-22T23:17:00.001-05:00

this is me and my two bestest friends!
Shout out to Rhea & Aura!
I miss you guys so bad!
:)

'Another Rollercoaster Craziness'

2010-01-22T23:14:00.004-05:00

My Littlest Big Corner Of Many Dreams

2010-01-17T22:06:00.002-05:00

Future Dream:
Job: An Architect
Car: Old Yellow Mini Cooper
City: Santorini, Greece
Pet: Yorkshire Terrier / Scottish Terrier

Things That I Want To Learn:
Instrument: Guitar / Cello
Sports: Surfing
Art: Paint
Dance: Swing / HipHop

Places To Visit:
Europe: Italy, Greece, Amsterdam, Paris.. -Oh who am i kidding?! WHOLE EUROPE!!
Asia: Nepal, Mongolia, Turkey
USA: Alaska
Africa: Egypt, Morocco, South Africa & The Wild Life!

Dream Colleges:
1. Cornell University
2. Pratt Institute
3. Cooper Union
4. Parsons School Of Design
5. California College Of The Arts

Seeing Myself In A Movie:
Me: Arale Norimaki (lol), Alexis Bledel, Kat Dennings
My Love Interest: Kris Allen, Justin Long, Jamie Bell
My Best Friend(s): Alexa Chung, Evan Rachel Wood, Mark Ronson
Parents: Hugh Laurie, Robert DeNiro, Martin Scorsese, Meryl Streep, Jane Lynch, Tom Hanks, Nicole Kidman
Neighbor: Christina Ricci, Caroline Trentini, Lea Michelle, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Liv Tyler, Carey Mulligan
Frenemies: 'Speidi', Mike 'The Situation'

Yep.. I'm still living in my dreams~
mmmmm i love my dreams!
cup <3

SickDay : 1

2010-01-04T21:15:00.001-05:00

my back started to hurt again.

my brain worked really slow.

my eyes are starting to get puffy.

my coughs are terrible.

my cheeks are red.

my skins are dried from the cold weather.

my left foot is really killing me.

where's my painkiller?

help

:(

Destination: Killington, Vermont

2010-01-03T19:21:00.000-05:00

i'm on my way to Vermont.

I'm bored.

i'm hot cos I sit beside the heater on the window.

I'm hungry.

I'm wanting food.

I'm wanting cold air.

I want you to be here now.

Early Year Love

2010-01-01T22:35:00.006-05:00

1. Justin Long (2 June 1978) known as the Mac Guy. Has a couple of movies coming out this year, which are The Conspirator (along with James McAvoy & Evan Rachel Wood), Going The Distance (along with his girlfriend, Drew Barrymore) and Alpha and Omega (along with Hayden Panettiere & Christina Ricci).

I just realized that i got addicted to him from his Mac commercials and his movies. But especially from his appearance on Accepted, Live Free or Die Hard, Drag Me To Hell, The Sasquatch Gang and of course, He's Just Not That Into You. Whereas i can't wait for his appearance in Young in Revolt.

2. Michael Cera (7 June 1988) known as the guy that often plays a slightly nerd/geek character. Which will be really surprising to see his appearance on Youth In Revolt, where he's going to build this two personalities to win a girl's heart and..bed, yes. He has one new movie coming up this year and one movie coming up this 2011. Coming up this year after Youth In Revolt is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and next year is Arrested Development The Movie.

I have always been in love with him from his famous and hilarious comedy Superbad with Jonah Hill and Christopher Mintz-Plasse... wait- who? ahah, or should i say, McLovin. His appearances in Juno and Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist made me more in love with him! Oh- HECK YES! The two movies that i haven't watch that have him on it are Paper Heart and Year One. In Paper Heart, he plays with his 3 years girlfriend, Charlyne Yi, but they broke up last July... which is OKAY, LIKE TOTALLY OKAY (i know i'm a bitch right now)

3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (17 Februari 1981), WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! i know some of you out there are like "AAA!! AAAA!!AAAAAAAA!!" and then faint, haha lol! -or maybe not :P. So yeah, last year he got a couple of good movies, such as 500 Days of Summer and G.I. Joe: The Rise of The Cobra. And now why am i got in love with this guy? Yeap, right.. 'cos of his 500 Days of Summer character.

Ohk GOD! Why didn't i love him back at the days when he's still in 3rd Rock from The Sun?! Well.. ehem- he's kinda a geek and has a long hair hauhauhuhauha that's enough reason i think xP Now, what i want from him this year.. maybe a lot more movies where he's cuter, hotter, loveable-er (?) and many more! You could keep up with him on hitRECordJoe and be his stalker 24/7 like i am right now. HAHAHAHAHAH!!

the image says it all-

2010-01-01T16:40:00.000-05:00

// image from flickr.com //

2009-12-30T16:48:00.000-05:00

These are the last days of 2009

2009-12-30T14:43:00.002-05:00

on these last days of 2009, i wanted to reminisce my good slightly bad days of 2009~ :P let's see if i still remember those days tho. hahaha!

JANUARY 2009:
1. i had my new years with my dad, my mom, my 2 sisters and my big brother at Do Hwa. It was slightly weird cos everyone i know there was my big brother's friend. And it was surprisingly weird for my big brother too. haha!

2. i went back to JKT to spend my last days of winter holiday before Spring semester 2009 began. I think i went back for just 2 weeks top(?) and.. man, was I regretted it cos i just spent it with my ex. Yeah.. right. That was actually my reason to go back home

3. And then those days gone by like a snap of a finger! *SHNAP!*

FEBRUARY 2009:
1. well actually.. the HIGHLIGHT of this month was that i broke up with my ex. Yes. At the end of this month. Like, 26ish? 27? 28? :\

2. I started my blog! Yeay!

3. Getting ready for my first traditional dance for this charity event downtown with Saung Budaya!

MARCH 2009:
1. still recovering from my heartbroken. But i knew i could pass through all of those stuff. It's just another moment at life where we should love ourself more than other people.

2. And heck YES! my first performance with Saung Budaya. We danced saman for that charity event. It was a success! and yeah i was a little bit over the top (LOL!) that's because someone told me to be like that.. aka *cough*cough*, you know who you are if you're reading this missy!

3. I started to join twitter! Haha! if you still don't know what my twitter is, you can follow me up on www.twitter.com/namskidut or just click "follow my twitter" on my twitter widget :]

APRIL 2009:
1. and on this month.. i had to get myself together, i had set my mind, i had to put myself out there to one little thing. What was that again? I braved myself to get a monroe piercing. Ow~ Yeah! That was a terrifying yet new experience for me dude. i wish i still have it now tho :( i tell you about this later on..

2. another dance practice after that last dance performance. This one was for Cornell University's event. I WAS PSYCHED FOR THAT PERFORMANCE! Because actually Cornell was my first choice for my college years, but yeah.. after knowing that Cornell is one of the Ivy League schools, my guts told me to slow down. hahaha!

3. ....what else? HAHA, kidding missy, i remembered what happened on this month :P IT WAS AISHA'S BIRTHDAY I TELL YOU! It was tuesday evening and i had class on the next day but whatever, i needed to meet with Aisha since she got back from her Amsterdam/Paris/London trip. So i went to Queens and said hi! But she was all like "where's my surprise?! I hate you guys! I always gave you surprises on your birthday but you guys never give me one! Go back home! I don't need you guys! i just wanna be alone on my birthday! I rather be in London with the other now! Go away!" -i know! such a drama queen huh? :P- but eventually, we did give her a surprise after Naomi's begging to go to Martha's Bakery. TAKE THAT MISSY! BETTER WATCH OUT FOR NEXT YEAR! >:P

MAY 2009:
1. Spring semester ended and summer classes has started!

2. It was my dad's birthday but unfortunately i couldn't be there like the other, cos i had my summer class :( sorry dad.

3. CHAMI went back to JKT to have her summer. aaaannnndddd...... guess that was it? :\ i think so, yeah.. no? ngek

JUNE 2009: Let's see.. what happened on my summer days?
1. I went to Metric, Santigold and the Maccabees' concert with Aisha, Jovan and Naldi

2. I remembered this one day where Aisha, Naomi and I went for the gym and went out for some drinks late at night. It was where this one sailor said something to us and Naomi was like all quite and shut her mouth HAHAHAH that was hell funny and hilarious

3. i bought a folding bike, rode it everytime i got the chance with Jovan strolling around New York City and Brooklyn ...aaaannnddddd I CUT MY HAIR!! :D :D

JULY 2009:
1. SEFI and i decided to go to Boston at 3am in the morning because we were tipsy after having a few wine, LOL! THAT WAS TERRIFIC!! Couldn't wait for another random trip with you lady :9

2. Aisha, Naldi, Brisko, Inchas, Jovan, Omar and I decided to have an early-VERY early-morning exercise.. aka play basketball while waiting for the sunrise

3. every weekend bicycling with NAJUNDA around Central Park. Or Jovan. Or Anjas, Inchas and Naldi. Or Naomi and David. But one thing that i surely couldn't wait for the end of this month was.. ALL POINT WEST FESTIVAL

AUGUST 2009:
1. INCUBUS' CONCERT with Najunda. OHK GOD! BRANDON BOYD WAS SURELY HOTHOTHOTHOT-SIZZLING-HOTHOTHOT!!! eventhough he didn't take off his shirt like in JKT :P but that's ok hauhauhaha

2. I went back to JKT cos i felt that i needed a few days to cool off from NY's drama :P (sshh- no need to tell this one out to the public, sorry)

3. Had my 19th birthday at Bandung because my mom had this thingamajig for 3 days. But it's ok as long i spent it with family. Aaaannddd... guess that was all of it in this month :\ couple of friends called me up to say happy birthday, some texted me, some facebook-ed me and some just said happy birthday straight to my face :]

SEPTEMBER 2009:
1. Fall semester had began. Schmuck :( yuck, i don't like school.. i like my summer back.

2. it was EID MUBARAK FEVER! I went to see everyone on this very holy day. I had a lovely nice trip to New Rochelle and Scarsdale with Najunda, Wulan, Chami, Wina and Intan. Aisha and Naomi decided to stay in Queens and strolled around the neighborhood. And then after those trips, all of us hung out at Fahmy's house. That was a crazy week. I stayed at Sherwood for about 2/3 days i think. haha!

3. aaaaannnnddd nothing else happened cos i was out of the zone cos of my studio class =_=

OCTOBER 2009:
1. i could say that this month.. was the month where i had to choose between something and something. Bbbbbbuuuttt~ i rather not say this on public. So yeah.. eventually, those somethings.. just gone like that :P

2. CRAZY THING ABOUT THIS MONTH WAS... HALLOWEEN NIGHT! i'm just gonna stop there, cos it was REALLY REALLY REAAAALLLYYY CRAZY!

3. if i just said that this month was the month where i had to choose between something and something, well.. at the end of this month.. i actually chose 1 thing and chose to stay with just that.

NOVEMBER 2009:
1. one moment that really memorable to me on this month was ThanksGiving Dinner. 'ROFLMAO' is the only word that i would like to say

2. that fun night with Aisha, Wina, Intan, Marshall, Inchas and Nanda at Intan's apartment, that hilarious photobooth night with Aisha and Ema at Aisha's room while the other are watching some movies outside and that surprisingly unexpected night with Chami, Aisha and Naomi at the MoMA, around 5th avenue, at Sarabeth's and at Columbus Circle

3. all of those nights BUT THOSE FREAKINGLY HORRIBLE NIGHTS WHERE I HAD TO FINISH MY MODEL FOR MY STUDIO CLASS BEFORE GOING BACK HOME TO INDO FOR MY BROTHER'S WEDDING! GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

DECEMBER 2009: wawawiwa~ we're at the end of the year!
1. from 6th-14th of december i was back at JKT for my brother's wedding! THAT WAS HECTIC! Whoa i tell you, Whoa! Started from the blessings then to the vows then to the receptions! And that was all in a different day =_=.. to top it off, i need to finish my college work before going back to the states! GAAAHHHH

2. Ok, frustrating days are over.. finals are done. no more school. AND SAY HELLO TO SNOW!! WOOHHOOO!! I WELCOME YOU WINTER! :D :D My little sister joined me back to the States and already stayed here for about 2 weeks. My dad, my mom and my other brother came last sunday and now i'm waiting for my other sister to come after new year :D

3. .........well i guess this one is for remembering all what happened on this year :) it was sad at the beginning but as i go on with my life, it gets better and better every month!

CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT YEAR!

H-E-L-L-O A-G-A-I-N

2009-12-29T19:38:00.003-05:00

OK, while I'm waiting for my dad, my mom, my brother and my sister finish their thing before going out for dinner with my dad's friend (whoa! that's a lot to say :\) i want to write something for my blog! it's been a long time huh? maybe, 2 weeks? 3 weeks? :\ whatever.

WELL, HELLO THERE! :D

how you've been? how's the weather treating ya? NY's weather been crazy for this couple of weeks! from not too cold to TOO COLD-YOU-JUST-WANT-TO-CURL-UP-INSIDE-A-BLANKET. What d'you know about this magical world, huh?! crazy little wind makes my nose red, it makes my ears frozen, it makes my feet shake like those crazy people on the dance floor. But it's ok. Finals are over! which means this is the time for me to have a good time with my family up in VERMONT!

YEP! VERMONT I TELL YA! We're going up there after new year, exactly at the 3rd of Jan, 2010. oooww~yeah! sliding all the way from the top of the peak until the bottom of the mountain of those great mountain of Killington. I CAN'T WAIT! aaaa~

But, before that... what should i do on new year? :\ i asked my dad and he said he just want to stay at the apartment and watch the fireworks from my apartment's sky lounge. I'm pretty sure that my mom wants to party (like again and always), i don't know about my brother and my sister though. Any suggestion? I know it's pathetic that i'm living at the city that never sleeps but i don't know what to do for new year's eve.. ngek

Talking about NEW YEAR.. everyone have been settling up their resolution for the year 2010. What are my resolutions anyway? :\ I never remembered my old resolution though. It's like i did it on every new year just for the sake of it but never did it along the way. Haha, well.. whatever, i'm gonna do it anyway :P Not now though! I need more time to think about those resolutions.. cos i'm still waiting for my mom, my dad, my brother and my sister to finish their stuff.

Woke~ maybe that's enough rambling while waiting. Write again soon!
While you wait for another post, keep warm people cos it's bloody cold outside! >_<

Here I am, in the corner

2009-12-03T14:40:00.000-05:00

I'm in such not a good mood right now.. but I have a responsibility to be at class since I gotta leave this city tomorrow. Wadyu know? I've been stacking piles of work for me to work on later. Everybody will be joyfull watching my brother getting married, on the other hand.. me, faking a smile and trying to think how to finish all of the piles of work I have left.

When I am going to let out my real smile? I know I am overwhelming myself right now. With everything is chasing constantly behind me.

Eerrrhhhh I need more time, I need more energy, I need more sleep, I need another part of brain which can help me get through this. Wait- did I just say brain? Do I need a brain to get pass this? A brain, a hand, a friend, a support.. I need myself to get through this.

2009-12-03T04:45:00.005-05:00

"You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you fell so small

..
Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

..
So don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow"

Being Speechless, then

2009-12-03T03:58:00.004-05:00

"I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless so speechless

I’ll never love again,
Oh friend you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless, so speechless"

Oh! Wait- I was tho back then..

Just came to my mind yesterday that I was really really upset and miserable for those horrible days up in the last days of February. I made a promise that 'I'll never love again' and stuff, but after months and months I never think about those horrible days anymore. Maybe I was naive back then? I don't know.. Maybe I was caught up by the moment that made me think giving out love to someone is over-rated and don't ever trust anyone but yourself and your best friend(s). Yeah, that was me.. back then.

Months after months forgetting about those days, suddenly.. it doesn't seem matter anymore. I don't need you to smile. I don't need you to laugh. I don't need you to be the best. I don't need you.

Hey, wait.. this post not really about.. ahem- him. It's about me covering up my naive thoughts. I'm still scared to open my heart to someone else and I'm still don't want to believe that someone will change what I think. Why? Because at the end, it is me that's going to be hurt. I'm not gonna fall for that second strike! I'm here for myself and I'm here to become the best that I can be.

What a post right? What is up with me being all.. err- how do you say this? melodramatic? Haha.. blame the song that I like and blame my insomnia. Oh, you know what I have discovered yesterday? I think I have an OCD. I'll know if someone change or move anything. YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD ME. I don't know.. maybe I kind of like it?

Or maybe I already am breaking my own promise? A little cheat would not hurt myself right? Or it will? Some will say "you would not know it before you try it", so.. I'm trying here, you better not make me regret this ;P

2009-12-01T04:58:00.000-05:00

I think i could post another one-
i dont care if my eyes are twitching now and then..

**

hey you,
i know you're reading this one
i keep on thinking about you
i don't feel like sleeping alone in this big bed -well, it's not actually big..
but without you by my side, it feels empty, and cold..
i have a heater tho, but you know i cant sleep with a heater on
i'll say 'i cant breathe!' later

hey hey,
..
...
....
.....
alright i'll go to sleep now.

goodnight you.

;]

**

Please Come Back

2009-11-29T22:35:00.006-05:00

waaiit- what's the date again?? 1st of December?? great, the beginning of the month is already here which means my finals are right on the corner of my frustration -_-

HOW COULD THIS BE?
i need my thanksgiving break again :(
come back..
please >_<

nyom! eventho my thanksgiving break is only a week (-not even), it was the craziest yet a whole lotta fun just like summer x] despite the weird weather tho. Let's see.. what should i talk about after i -err..- stop updating..

Just finish creating a sketchup model for my actual model, i hope my professor would accept it, or maybe.. not. that is what i hate about procrastinating.. you always think that you would do everything on the last minute but wadyu know about how God's work? well.. it's not actually God's work, it's my own fault and.. i dont take responsibility and.. i keep on keepin' on procrastinating -HARR HARR >:9

mm.. the clock just hits 4.50 AM and i still have another paper to do but yeah, 'other me' said i can do it later when i wake up before taking a shower and go to class :P nice job procrastinating huh?

And guess what? I'm going back to Jakarta this friday -knowing that my final is after i go back to NY-

Err.. i think i need my beauty sleep [+_o'] my eyes twitched by itself and tried to close off of this post.. my eyes are wandering around between the keyboard and the monitor and my nails and my blanket and my pillows and ..

-zzzZzzZzzZz

2009-11-17T03:42:00.002-05:00

cuddling with my mom & dad is the best moment ever.

love 'n' miss you guys

2009-11-16T04:00:00.001-05:00

"Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there."
*

I'm surrounded by your embrace

2009-11-16T03:42:00.007-05:00

i just love hanging out with my friends.

they put sunshine on my face.

Another Cover Song From The One And Only~

2009-11-15T03:05:00.001-05:00

Use Somebody (cover) - Canti Tachril

2009-11-10T03:29:00.002-05:00

"Hands, touching hands, reaching out

Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
I've been inclined to believe it never would"


;)

2009-11-05T01:45:00.001-05:00

sometimes
i do feel alone
when i know
i have my friends out there

yet,
i'm alone at my corner of the world

2009-11-05T01:07:00.003-05:00

a⋅fraid

–adjective

1.	feeling fear; filled with apprehension

2.	feeling regret, unhappiness

3.	feeling reluctance, unwillingness, distaste

Synonyms:
1. scared, fearful, disquieted, apprehensive, timid, timorous. Afraid, alarmed, frightened, terrified all indicate a state of fear.

Oh, Lonely Night

2009-11-03T14:16:00.004-05:00

As we get older, our responsibilities get high and pressure is everywhere you go. Once you stop where you are standing, everything's haunting you. School, life, family, friends.. you just hope there are enough hands to help you. I'm not saying that I'm emo or something like that, haha, it's just.. when something happened in front of your eyes and it's actually happened to you, you just hope that the time will stop without all of those haunting.

I'm afraid of the world now.
The world is taking me into pieces, keep me shattered into places.
I need more hands to push me through.
But I'm the only one that pulling it into myself.
Should I go away from the surface and hide under a cover?
I need my blackness night to cover my fear.
I don't wanna go back to brightness to not being myself.
It's better for me to be in the dark and be myself rather than that.

*

2009-10-27T01:44:00.002-04:00

P h i l e m a t o p h o b i a .

or am I?

2009-10-23T16:21:00.001-04:00

i keep on smiling

cos i know you're the one that making me so,

*

When Spaghetti & ChocPizza Gone Wild

2009-10-19T15:56:00.006-04:00

PolaroidCra-Zzz

2009-10-19T14:51:00.006-04:00

2009-10-13T02:41:00.002-04:00

"Sure I'll call ya then.

I'll call you tomorrow night too.

And the night after that if ya want"

goodnight you ;)

2009-10-10T03:57:00.003-04:00

i always think that i have found my other hand to share
but every time i hold your hand,
it slowly came to mind..
is this hand really belongs to me?


the fright that give me chills every time i sleep
feelings that i can't hold inside,
the thought of you letting me go on just that;
why does your hand felt so temporary on mine?


let mine go if you just wanted my hand to play
loose me from your embrace if you just wanted warmth on those chilly days
unattached my heart from your affection if you just wanted to catch


stop here,
before it’s too late
stop here,
because I don’t want any regrets

2009-10-08T02:26:00.002-04:00

is it us that finds love?

or

is it love that catches us?

2009-10-05T02:42:00.002-04:00

it's really hard for me to say
that i rather choose.
because inside of me tells that
i still can't open that piece of heart.

it's not you,
just remember that.

i could only taste you and not having you
where it goes like i try them all at once.
one thing that i really hate.
hating it cos i'm the one to blame

should i just throw it all and wipe it all off?
kill the thing that i have inside,
all of the sensation that i like,
all of the giddy up

if i could just say it to "one, two, three" or "A B C"
it would be so easy to choose.
But i rather not say 'i choose'
where it goes like a period.

are you my one exception for me to open that heart?

2009-10-01T04:57:00.001-04:00

Maybe i know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone

But darlin,

You are the only exception.

2009-09-29T04:34:00.004-04:00

"So this is permanence; love-shattered pride.

What once was innocence,

has turned on its side."

"Where The Wild Things Are"

2009-09-29T04:08:00.007-04:00

"One, two, ready, go!

Grow some big feet, holes in history
Is where you’ll find me, is where you’ll find
All is love, is love, is love, is love

L.O.V.E, it’s a mystery
Where you’ll find me, where you’ll find
All is Love, is love, is love, is love

Hey, ooh
Hey, ooh
Ooh ooh…
All is Love

One, two, ready, go
L.O.V.E, it’s a mystery
Where you’ll find me, where you’ll find
All is love, is love, is love, is love

Ooh ooh…
All is Love, is love, is love, is love"

Karen O feat The Kids - All Is Love

2009-09-28T23:23:00.001-04:00

Silence says it all.

d'FAMZ strikes BACK!

2009-09-26T21:16:00.005-04:00